Hey Bruh! In part 6, we left off discussing the steps you need to help conquer your fear, overcome your trust issues, and turn down the intensity of your anger! This concept is what I call the Pursuit of Perfection. Now don't get stuck on the word perfection, place your focus on the word pursuit! In other words, trust the process! Put in the work and you will get the results that prove you're becoming the man you're supposed to be! So let me remind you again, that the ultimate goal is to get mad, but we don't want to get ignorant! Below are the rest of the steps you need to take on your Pursuit of Perfection.
STEP #3 IF IT'S NOT YOURS, GIVE IT BACK! IF IT'S YOURS, YOU HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH, SO SHARE!
It’s always better to give than to receive! But the rivalry between Cain and Abel was ignited by the pain of not just wanting what your brother has but also wanting back what your brother took from you! That pain can be intensified by the assumption that you could never have what he has or the presumption that you could never get back what he took! Simply put, in an adaptation of the immortal words of Eddie Murphy on his Delirious Comedy Tour:
“I got some ice cream, I took your ice cream, and you don’t have none. Now you don’t have none! Want a lick...SIKE!”
Everyone has the right to get what they desire, however not by any means necessary! Now as painful and unquenchable as that desire can be, it is made worse by jealousy and the ignorance it unleashes! That is why Abel is dead and his posterity is still trying to get revenge!
We understand that when this happened, vengeance
was based upon the perpetration of the crime of murder! Murder is defined as the
voluntary or involuntary unlawful termination of life! Since then, we have come
to understand that Abel’s murder was based upon his unauthorized takeover of a position
of favor! So, the crime that was committed had to do with Cain’s right to a livelihood
over Abel’s right to live or to have his being! That means Cain committed this
homicide because he believed that Abel took something that rightfully belonged
to him which would keep him from the benefits that come from a position of
favor! That provoked him to jealousy, and jealousy drove him to get it back by
any means necessary!
Abel’s perspective was different! He knew the
position of favor he had was something that Cain desired immensely! But Abel
believed it was his because his brother did things his way and was not
accepted by the Father! This made Abel’s presence a provocateur! He may or may not
have gloated about his position of favor, but that position
is what Cain wanted more than anything else and Abel being in that position is
what got him killed! Now, his posterity wants revenge because Cain killed Abel or
took away his presence in a failed attempt to get back the position of favor he
lost by abdication and what his posterity has lost by default!
This means that Abel is coming after Cain
for something that they both had a right to! The problem is that one of them took
it, his posterity wants it back, and they are willing to get it back by any means
necessary! The other one lost it and tried to take it back! His posterity wants
what it never had and is willing to get it by any means necessary! Wow!
That’s a lot. But how different would the outcome have been if Abel was willing
to give back what he took, and Cain was willing to share what he lost? Think
about what you have that may be provoking you brother or what you don’t have
that provokes you to be jealous! Is there a compromise that can end the
rivalry, stop the war, and save lives? In other words, if it’s not yours give it
back! If it is yours, you have more than enough, so share!
STEP#4 STOP ACTING LIKE AN ANIMAL!
The word “dawg” is a
moniker that has been bestowed upon manhood which is both a term of endearment and a derogatory expression! It is a nickname that has been used to equate the temperament
of a man with the instinct of an animal! It has been given the power to validate or
invalidate masculinity in this culture depending upon the perspective of the people
who have had the pleasure or the misfortune to participate in or be victimized by this disposition! In other words, based on the opinion of those affected by what men think, say, and do!
The word "dawg" is not just a descriptor of male tendencies, it is a formal accusation that men act like animals. While that is unacceptable, it has been celebrated and normalized in society for thousands of years! This alternate reality is pervasive all over this country. From coast to coast, here are some examples of how men's behaviors have been consistently reduced to animalistic tendencies:
-In the words of George Clinton, we chase the cat like an Atomic Dog!
-We "wolf down" our food!
-We “piss like a racehorse!”
-We compete in “beast mode!”
-We "run like a cheetah!”
-We’re told to fight “like a lion!”
The problem with men acting like animals is that throughout our history, this beast-like behavior has just about brought this country to its knees. We are MEN, not ANIMALS! Isn’t it well past time to tame the beast? Here’s how:
WAYS TO TAME THE
BEAST
1. Stop being
ignorant and get your anger under control!
2. Stop running
around with "dawgs!" Change the company you keep!
3. Stop calling yourself
a "dawg!" Call yourself a man and you'll start acting like one!
4. Stop chasing cars! Start following wise counsel!
5. Stop all that barking! Your words create your reality!
6. Stop letting people
yank your chain! Stop letting everything get under your skin!
7. Stop sniffing in
places where you don’t belong!
8. Stop hand biting! Stop dissing those who care about you!
9. Stop wolfing down
your food! Learn to curb your appetite!
10. Stop howling
at the moon! Stop wasting time on things you can't change and start changing things you have control of!
STEP #5 TO EARN TRUST YOU MUST LEARN TO TRUST!
Trust
issues are not uncommon in rivalries! Suspicion unleashes a “get them before
they get you” mentality and paranoia can cause you to sleep in a chair with one
eye open and your back against the wall or with your weapon in your hand and
your finger on the trigger after you have the closed all the curtains and turned off
all the lights! But just like with Cain and Abel, the consequence of committing
a homicide and destroying a livelihood is that vengeance will track you down
and the thought of that will make you believe that everyone you encounter is coming
to get you, whether they are or not! Now since vengeance has no regard for human
life, it just won’t stop with you! Someone with nothing to do with the beef you’re in can be going about their business and get killed or lose their livelihood by an act of payback that had your name on it! This is what we call the collateral
consequence of ignorance!
The friction created by the coagulated blood that clogs the gears of this war has sparked an inferno that reached an intensity or a heat level so high that it can cremate or vaporizes on contact the component that holds our relationships together! That component is the element of trust! If you don’t trust, you don’t have relationships! If you won’t trust, you won’t have relationships! If you can’t trust you can’t have relationships! Plain a simple! But I don’t know if men understand that trust is like the grease that lubricates the gears of an engine! It keeps it running smoothly, reduces friction, and keeps the internal temperature or the intensity of the heat at normal levels!
Men we need to learn to trust others so that we can earn the trust of others! However, this is not easy when you have been let down! This is easier said than done when you have been lied to, and it is “damn near” impossible when you have been stabbed in the back and got vengeance on your mind! But fortunately, we can learn to trust and earn trust even when we are in the most intense battle of our lives!
HOW TO LEARN TO TRUST AND
EARN TRUST
Social distance yourselves! Time and space
will always allow the intensity to cool down, the ignorance to subside, and your
anger to be controlled! Then when clearer heads prevail, you can work on yourself
in preparation to work on relationships!
Shut up and let it die! The biggest
reason why disagreement gets turned into beef, misunderstanding gets turned into
an argument, and hearsay gets turned into an assault is the fact that we just
can’t stop running our mouths about it! We have to tell people how we got
disrespected and that turns up the intensity because of the instigation you get
from the people you told! Words create our reality! If we ever get that revelation,
we will know that our words can add fuel or water to the fire! That means
respect for yourself, and others starts by watching what you say, how you say
it, when to say it, or not say anything at all! Now go look in the mirror and
tell yourself to shut up and let it die!
Accept that people have a right to
say what they want! That’s a very difficult thing to do in today’s
society, especially when you are being challenged! However, you need to
understand that one of the biggest signs that people respect you, your position, or both is the fact that they are challenging you for it, or in the words of one
of the most influential rappers of all time Ludacris, "They're coming for that #1spot!" What’s disrespectful is all the trash talk, bloviating, banter, and foolishness
that comes out of their mouth!
Now, Cain, you can go in their mouth and rearrange their dental work, and Abel, you can video it and show it live on the internet, either way, your challenger will win because in today’s society being an idiot will get you paid! Take a breath, show some respect for others’ point of view because there could be some truth to it, offer to show them how to get where you are, or hook them up with someone who can, but set some boundaries with that offer and keep your end of the bargain! The trash talk might slow down but probably won’t stop; however, you have now earned their trust!
My next series is called, "The younger they are the harder they fall!" Part I of this III part series will be launched and posted in the week of 6/4/23. I will be dealing with the heartbreaking issue of children and the loss of innocence! This is a generation that has experienced more than any other generation before them including active shooter drills!
In the meantime, make sure you are following me on social media @SavingCain where I'll be launching "Special Alerts" soon. I hope to see you there!✌🏾
